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Coming Out of the Spiritual Closet


Coming Out of the Spiritual Closet

         No disrespect to those who actually come out of the closet but this is what I imagine it feels like to be trapped without people knowing who you are or what is really going on with you. Why post about something so personal G? Good question. I debated that myself for awhile. In an age where anything and everything gets put on the interweb I thought I would add some depth to it AND ya I wanted you guys to see the awesome picture of me and da boo boo. ( Special thank you to Courtney Bauraschi for the shots YOU ARE THE BOMB). Back to business.

My intention for this post was yes, to be seen and heard. It is my hope that my story can inspire you to keep going or help you somehow along your way. Maybe not, maybe you haven't even made it this far in the post, so be it! A few years ago I became very depressed. Like really depressed. I didn't feel like I had a mission or a purpose anymore. OR that I had somehow failed. It didn't take long to realize that all of the emotions I had neglected when my parents passed had finally come to be seen. This post isn't about them though. It's about coming out of the Spiritual closet. ( I'm coining that phrase) It's about finding the courage to communicate my vulnerability to hopefully inspire others to do the same. On a few occasions I even thought about taking my own life. It is such a taboo subject but I'm going to eliminate that right now. Seriously, it is taboo for no reason. My life's work has been finding the best solution to this problem and it's actually quite simple. Talk. Yep, just talk about it. My mind created this horrible nightmare to scare me away from talking about it but when I did I was relieved. Severely. This is all traditional therapy is in case you were wondering. Trust me I've been going for a few years. It is simply the ability to talk about what you're feeling without anybody judging you or telling you you're disabled. Though sometimes even they tell you something is wrong with you. I wouldn't listen to that. Your mind has the ability to accept it's own reality, even if it is illusion. I think the truth to some extent is that everyone faces these kind of thoughts and feelings.

I can't get out. I'm stuck. I will never be ok.

The reason they gain so much power is because I/we are too afraid to talk about it, which DOUBLES the anxiety.

I get that G but just HOW do I talk about it? Great question imaginary reader friend.

      1) Check in with your body. How do you feel?

      2) Use the term I feel to communicate how you're feeling. If you use the phrase...' You make me                  feel or you made me feel'. You're giving your power away and blaming somebody else for your             feelings. Don't do that.

      3) When you use the ' I feel' phrase watch how the power of the anxiety gets diminished. After all,              communicating your vulnerability leads to your invulnerability.

So, if you are feeling this way I encourage you NOW to speak up to a friend or loved one or a random person on the street. Or start by writing about it ( like me :) Because it is possible to get out and find the light again. 

That is what I found in all of this. My personal commitment to myself, my lovely girlfriend Allie,( whom I've talked to extensively about this THANK YOU) and to you the reader is the TRUTH. Are you ready for the TRUTH. The TRUTH is... well shit I don't know what the TRUTH is but I guarantee it couldn't hurt to talk about it. 

Love you,



3 ways to deal with holiday & winter solstice stress

3 ways to deal with holiday & winter solstice stress

3 Ways to stay centered during the Holidays

It is common during this time of year for our immune systems to be bombarded by stress. Many of us overdo it and pay the price with nasty coughs or feelings of being rundown. This year, stay ahead of the curve. Here are 3 very simple, very practical ways to stay centered during the holidays.

#1) Conscious breath

Many ancient traditions teach about the health benefits of breathing it is no different here in our modern culture. Conscious breath (meaning to reflect inwards and observe your breath) may be one of the most beneficial things that we do for ourselves in times of stress. If you’re at the office, at a family party, or stuck in traffic. Try pausing for a moment and turning your attention to your body. The key word is to simply, ‘Notice’. Notice, watch, and observe the breath. Naturally, you will notice your mental and emotional state. Simply notice feelings and thoughts without judging them or seeking to escape from them. This will give you space and the expansion to breathe rhythmically and continuously. Remember there is no need to force anything, including the deepening of the breath it will happen on its own. This exercise can be performed, ‘in action’ when you have reached a state of intense stress but it is meant to be completed before the that state is reached, preferably in the morning or night when you have time to yourself.

1) Pause

2) Draw your attention to your breath

3) Allow feelings and thoughts to flow and unfold

4) Spend 3-5 minutes daily with this exercise

#2) The Heart Space

Many studies have been conducted over the past 40 years about the heart and it’s impact on our emotional states. These studies show what happens when you’re actually centered within your heart. Heartmath Institute out of Boulder Creek, CA has even designed a device that shows your coherence ration ( when your heart and your brain our working in optimal function this is known as coherence). The monitor measures your heart rate and your heart rate variability to determine the coherence between your brain and your heart. It has now been demonstrated and proven that the heart is actually the central intelligence of the body and the very first part of the body to be created in conception. From the heart sprouted everything, including the arms, legs, the brain, and the body as a whole. If you are looking for the perfect gift for your meditation/ yoga friend try the Inner Balance from HeartMath. The exercise can be done without any equipment and personally, I prefer it.

1) Pause

2) Bring your attention to your heart

3) Breathe 3 seconds in and 3 seconds out imagining the breath flowing in and out of the heart

4) Feel feelings of gratitude, compassion, and joy

#3) Ask for a Miracle

By far the most potent and useful of the exercises, ‘Asking for a Miracle’, from A Course in Miracles gets straight to the heart of the issue and relinquishes it. What this is suggesting, based on the writings in the book, is that when you ask for a miracle your mind is literally transitioning from fear-based thinking and placed into what is deemed correct thinking or thinking within love. This is called a full-blown perception switch, when you switch from thinking with fear to thinking with love. I ask for miracles daily. It is not uncommon to be given the answer almost immediately when you ask. It will take time, patience, and practice to fully gain the benefit of the, ‘Miracle Mind’ but it may be the best decision you will ever make.

1) Pause

2) In your mind, ask for a miracle to occur or ask to perceive the situation from a higher/ different perspective

3) Listen, the answer will come in the form of an image, memory, thought, or sign

4) Practice often to make yourself more open to the power of the Miracle

There you have it, these three methods could give you the opportunity to govern your holidays from a place of peace and wholeness, instead of stress and anxiety.